Here are some solutions to the yabber yabber and humbug surrounding drunk dickheads in Byron’s main drag after dark.
Why not establish a Byron Fightclub? Set up a boxing ring, or better yet an octagonal fight cage, on the Jonson Street roundabout. Low-IQ buffed-up yobs would finally feel welcome – along with some locals – to belt each other up as they are cheered on. Why not close the street on weekends? Let’s have another festival. Since the state government appears happy to fund business tourism campaigns, perhaps they could fund this. Sell tickets – hell, why not sell the highlights to reality TV? Be the new Block: Byron Blockhead. And being the sharing caring community we are, each night could be themed for a humanitarian or environmental cause. Fight obesity, fight global warming, Japanese whaling, palm oil... When the mayor was outraged by tree felling in a wildlife corridor near her house the other week, she was able to stop it immediately. So what’s the sound of a few Queenslanders falling in the night? Does anybody hear? Or care? Since Council, police, the Liquor Accord and the Byron business chamber appear incapable of doing anything about it collectively – we could at least change the media language. Soften it up a little. Instead of headlines like ‘Byron Blood Bath’, it could be ‘Byron Nightlife Simply Tickles’, or ‘Street Massages Get Frolicky.’ And finally, if some of our treasured tourists and a handful of locals want more blood, they could go to where Council spent all its money – the Ewingsdale Sports Centre. It’s like a Roman coliseum anyway but needs a little more use. Mud wrestling under flood lights would be the obvious conclusion.
1 Comment
With so much talk on the streets about festivals and how much money they contribute or take away, perhaps it’s time to look at ways a festival could improve our social evolution and aware- ness, and make us a truly unique oddity compared to Australia’s straight-laced culture of boring normality.
A ‘Freedom From Fear’ rally could highlight the over-regulated and stifling nature of western society. Freedom from liability insurance, freedom from permits, regulations... essentially freedom from The Man. It was nine years ago, just after the 2001 September 11 attacks, that over-regulation started to noticeably increase. Musicians and artists now pay third party liability insurance to perform in clubs where previously they didn’t. Community halls now have to pay large insurance fees where previously they didn’t. These people and venues, it could be argued, contribute far more to society than insurance companies, yet they are being asked to pay the companies a percentage of their meagre income. Legislation that prohibits fun, laughter and enjoyment should never be considered. Zombie Action Day The next big thing that could put Byron on the map for con- science change is a ‘Zombie Consumer Action Day.’ It wouldn’t take much – just a motley crew of zombies roaming the streets of our towns buying Chinese made knick-knacks. Recently In the US, where zombie consumer action days are a common occurrence, seven hapless zombie impersonators were imprisoned for two days because police thought they posed a terrorist threat. ‘Minneapolis will pay $165,000 to zombies’ is the August 23 headline from the Star Tribune, which describes the eventual court settlement. Rusty Miller lobbed over an intriguing document from the UK this week. It’s called ‘Clone Town’ and makes recommendations for how communities and local authorities can take steps to create and maintain diversity in their towns.
The publication defines the difference between a ‘home’ and a ‘clone’. ‘A home town is a place that retains its individual character and is instantly recognisable,’ it says, ‘and distinctive to the people who live there, as well as those who visit. ‘A clone town is a place that has had the individuality of its high street shops replaced by a monochrome strip of global and national chains that means its retail heart could easily be mis- taken for dozens of other bland town centres across the country.’ Like the Transition Towns model, it highlights the urgency to address our identity and hopefully a united vision for the future. Spank the architect Can someone please spank the architect who designed the generic Mullum Woolworths? How will the proposed Dan Mur- phy mega booze store – again owned by Woolworths – fit in with Byron’s current shop frontage? The newly branded Retravision building on Jonson Street is now a chemist, owned and operated by Chemist Outlet, a business based on the central coast. The shop signage says to the world it’s ‘proud to be cheap’ – and is an ugly corporate looking facade that belongs in Ballina or Tweed Heads, not Byron. A large part of this community is employed by outside interests and that means we are anything but united. These international/ national companies employ locals, and support their families and friends, just as the farmer’s market or any other ‘home’ town does. Rent correction needed Regardless of ‘local’ or ‘foreign’, the success of a business in Byron, especially the CBD, is often dependent on factors outside the owner’s control. It’s mainly high rents demanded by a market that has not yet suffered the correction this area needs. The Clone/Home Town report thankfully suggests action plans. These include the following:
Given a complete lack of political and public will – mostly from State level – this report is merely bureaucratic fantasy. Lack of vision and leadership appear as obstacles for Byron Shire’s social and economic long term propsperity, and it’s going to take more than tourism to address it. At least it is clear from ‘Clone Town’ that people are thinking about these problems, and there are solutions |
Archives
August 2014
Categories
All
|